Shadow
by jane0904
Summary: Next in the Mal/Freya story after BIRTHDAY. Mal faces down an old 'friend' and loses another. OC. Reviews are shiny, so please ... Final chapter up.
1. Chapter 1

Freya was cleaning her guns on the dining table. She had stripped one down and oiled its parts, and was now fitting it expertly back together. Sliding the final component home she cocked the weapon and pointed it, smoothly pulling the trigger so that it clicked.

"You expect us to eat around that?" Mal said from the doorway.

Freya looked up. "No, I'm going to clean it up."

"Well, see that you do." Mal stepped down into the dining area and went over to the kitchen.

"You okay?" Freya asked. "You seem a mite … tetchy this morning. After last night, too."

"I ain't tetchy."

"Okay, preoccupied then. Ever since you got that message yesterday."

"It's just a job." Mal filled a cup with coffee and looked at her, her back to him, over the counter, her tattoo just visible above the top of her shirt. "That's all."

"Am I missing something?" Freya turned in her seat.

Mal went to take a sip, then put the cup down so hard some of the hot liquid spilled onto his hand, but he ignored it. "This job …" he began. "The pick-up tomorrow … it's on Shadow."

Realisation dawned in Freya's eyes. "Oh. You could have said no."

"It's just a planet."

"It's your home planet. Where you were born. Grew up. Joined the independents from."

"I seem to recall that happening, yes."

"Have you been back since the war?"

Mal shook his head. "Nope. Didn't seem to be any point. Nothing left there for me." He picked up his cup again, noticed the coffee on the back of his hand and licked it off. He joined her at the table, sitting opposite.

"You still could have said no."

"We'll be there for maybe a couple of hours – no more. I can stand it for that."

"You shoulda said something before. People understand."

"It's in the past, Frey. It's not me any more."

"I know that feeling," she agreed fervently. "But it's making you –"

"Tetchy?"

"Uncomfortable. Do you want me and Zoe to handle it?"

"Afraid I'll break down the minute I touch soil? Somehow I find that difficult to imagine." He drank a mouthful of coffee. "But you're right. I _am_ uncomfortable about it. Maybe I should have come back before now, set the ghosts to rest. But …"

Freya reached across and put her hand on his. "It's okay," she said. "And I'm not one to talk. My parents think I'm dead."

"That ain't something you're likely to be doing anything about, though, is it?"

"Nope." Freya laughed. "But if I did I'd expect you to be right there with me."

"And I don't expect anything less."

"Good."

She got up, turning to the counter and pouring a cup of coffee for herself, then stopping to rub her belly.

"Tender?" Mal asked, suddenly right behind her.

She turned to look up into his blue eyes. "It catches," she admitted.

"Turn around." At her surprised look, he repeated, "Turn around."

She did as he said, and he pulled her towards him, so her back was resting against his chest, and he began to stroke her belly, very carefully, very gently at first, then with a little more pressure. "Oh, that's good," she murmured.

"You've been favouring that all day," he pointed out.

"Our nocturnal activities last night obviously didn't improve matters," she said, closing her eyes to feel even more of his manipulations.

"Did for me." She stepped back onto his foot. "Ow."

"Sorry, did I tread on you?"

"You did. And while I'm being all friendly, too."

"And you're doing it so well."

He pressed a little harder, working the scar tissue carefully, until she took a sharp breath. He stopped immediately. "Did I hurt you?"

"A little," she admitted. "But you stop and I'll show you what pain really is."

He grinned into her hair and began again, this time with a little less pressure. She moaned in pleasure, and he felt his body begin to respond, despite his best efforts to think of something slightly less sensual.

"Do you have to do that here?" Simon asked from the doorway, looking just a little disgusted.

Mal looked across at him. "My boat."

"Yes, but isn't that what bunks are for?"

"That's not what you and Kaylee said last week when I walked in on you two," Freya pointed out, standing up straight. "And with Bethany just a few feet away too."

Mal dropped his hands and turned to look at the young man. "Really? And what were they up to?"

"Let's just say I'll never look at the engine housing in quite the same way again," Freya said, smiling.

Simon blushed, just a bit. "We weren't doing anything," he insisted, then came over all professional again. "Your scar hurting?"

"Some."

"Let me see." He stepped closer, waiting for Freya to lift her shirt, which she did with some reluctance. "Hmmn. Better let me take a closer look. It might be inflamed inside, so I'd like to make sure. "

"It's fine, Simon," Freya insisted, pushing her shirt back inside her pants. "It'll be fine."

"Since when did you have a medical degree?" Simon asked, standing with his hands on his hips.

"Better go with him, Frey," Mal said, joking with a straight face. "He could get nasty."

"Oh, _shun sheng duh gao-wahn,"_ she muttered under her breath. "Fine. Let's go do it now. Get it over with." She strode out of the room, grumbling to herself as she went.

"You're a brave man, doc," Mal commented. "More'n I'd do with her in this mood." Mal sat down again, picking up his coffee mug. "Did I ever tell you about the time she half-killed a man for insinuating she was a fool?" He looked at the young man, a calculating expression on his face. "He was the fool, more like, which she told him when she visited him in the hospital." He sat forward. "See, what happened is –" He seemed to check himself. "No, probably not the best of times to tell you this. Go on – don't want to keep her waiting."

Simon wasn't sure, but he thought Mal was joking. Still, better to be safe and sorry: he hurried after Freya.

Mal smiled and picked up his coffee again then looked at the table. She hadn't cleared her guns.

---

Mal stroked her hair as she lay next to him, her face in the crook of his shoulder, her usual spot after they'd made love.

"So, when're we gonna get married?" he asked, his usual words, too, after they'd made love, as if having just coupled she might be more receptive.

"Depends."

"On what?" He lifted his head to look at her. This _wasn't_ her usual answer.

"Where are we going to next?"

"Uh, well, there's the pick-up of cargo on Shadow –"

"No."

"Then we deliver to Whitefall –"

"Not hanging around there. Patience might shoot you again."

He grinned. "Well, we swing by Persephone to get paid for that other job –"

"Not having Badger at my wedding."

"You know he likes you?" He laughed as he felt her shudder in disgust. "Keeps asking about you."

"You mention his name again and we won't be getting married at all."

"Okay. Well, then we fly to Boros for a day or two while –"

"Yes."

"What?" He glanced down at her again, then looked closer as he saw the satisfied look on her face.

"Yes," she repeated, smiling into his blue eyes. "Boros. That's where we'll get married."

He half sat up, staring at her. "Are you joshing me? 'Cause if you are, I ain't in that kinda mood. And it's nothing to be making fun of."

She lay back, her hair tousled, her smile sweet, her eyes laughing at him. No, _with_ him. "Boros, Mal. Get Hank to call them, see if they can fit us in. And I'll marry you there."

A grin suffused his face, making him look ten years younger. He jumped to his feet.

"Wait," she called, sitting up, the sheet falling from her breasts. "Where are you going?"

"Gotta tell Hank," he explained, grabbing hold of the ladder. "Tell him to contact Boros."

"Like that?" She nodded at him.

He looked down at his own nakedness. "Well, okay." He picked up his pants. "Although I ain't never been personally shy."

"No, I worked that one out for myself," she said dryly. "And you're not going to go anywhere right now. I want to cuddle."

"Woman, you've just set a date. You think I'm gonna let you change your mind?"

"Ain't gonna do that, Mal," Freya said, holding out her hand, smiling at him. "No more mind changing."

He dropped his pants on the floor and crossed back to her, sliding under the sheet she held up. As his chest touched her breast, he felt his body begin to respond again. "Don't see how I'm not just a pale recollection of myself," he said, lowering his lips. "The amount of sex that goes on here."

"Love, Mal," she gently corrected him, catching her breath as his tongue swirled around her nipple. "What we do is love."

"Ain't that right."

---

Much later they were lying together, and she was resting her chin on his chest, studying him.

"Ain't nothing much to see," he complained, feeling her gaze even through his closed eyelids.

"You have the most beautiful lashes," she said softly. "I am so jealous of them."

He looked at her. "What?"

"Your eyelashes. They're long and thick. Every woman you've ever met probably felt the same."

He coloured, just a little, a smooth pink tide travelling up his chest to his neck before receding, and she realised that was why most people never knew he blushed. Kept it well hidden.

"Never thought about it," he said gruffly, pulling her closer.

"And I love your eyes. So blue. Such a contrast to your hair. Which is so -""

"You gonna spend the night admirin' me? 'Cause I'm gonna get in on the act if that's the case."

She smiled. "Really? What do you like about me?"

"Well, the fact that you'll let me have my way with you any time I like is one helluva turn-on."

"Why, thank you for that romance from deep in your soul," she laughed.

"Okay, so you want me to get personal?"

She licked his skin, just a flick of her tongue. "That'd be nice."

He sighed, twisting a little so he could look directly into her face. "Well, for a foremost, you got nice eyes."

"Nice?"

"Look, I'm trying my best here," he complained. "I'm a man, and men ain't designed to give compliments like this."

"I bet Simon does to Kaylee."

"Yeah, well he's been educated in one of them fancy schools. Probably knows all the right knives and forks to use too."

"And he never gets a chance to show us!" Freya laughed. "Poor Simon." She bit his skin a little. "And don't pretend you've never had an education."

"Not like that. But I'll admit to having read a book or two."

"'The Campaigns of General De Levasquez' is not what I mean."

He smiled at her, touching the tip of her nose with one finger. "Guess not. Now, where was I?"

"My eyes."

"Oh, yeah. Well, they're deep, so deep I feel like I might lose myself in them some night, specially when you look at me that special way, when we're … you know."

"Are you coming over embarrassed?" she asked delightedly.

"When I'm inside you," he clarified. "Better?"

"Always."

"They kinda remind me of autumn leaves. Not brown and crinkly, you understand," he added quickly. "But full of the promise of spring."

"You've been practising to become a poet," she accused good-humouredly.

"Since I've been in your bed, I've kinda been drawn that way, yeah." He stroked her arm. "And I love your lips, always ready for me, even when you're shouting at me 'cause I've done something plain stupid again."

"That often?"

"That often. And your breasts … well, I kinda feel myself getting a little hot under the collar when I think about them."

She grinned. "You ain't wearing a collar, Mal."

"No, but it takes me elsewhere, too. Just how soft they are, how they fill my hands, just the right size … and I've got big hands."

"I've noticed. This is really sweet."

"Hey, I ain't finished yet. I love your toes too."

"Wait a minute, you've left out the best bits!"

"No I haven't," he said, snuggling down to place a kiss on her belly, then lower.

"Oh," she sighed. "Maybe not."

---

She was dozing on her front, the sheet wrapped across her hips, showing her tattoo to perfection in the half-light.

"'N' I love this," Mal added softly, dipping a finger into the perspiration pooling above her buttocks, drawing it up and anointing the bottom sigil with it. "Lets me know when you're angry with me, and then I do my best to make it right."

"Mmn?" she murmured, turning her head towards him, still half-asleep, a smile playing on her lips, her eyes closed.

"But I guess the best part about you is … everything." He moved down in the bed so he could put his face next to hers, breathing in her breath as she exhaled. "I love you."

---

"Hank, got a job for you," Mal said, stepping onto the bridge.

"Ain't that where we're going?" his pilot asked, turning in his chair. Ever since he'd been shot he'd been careful not to twist too much, even though Simon assured him he was fine now.

"Nothing to do with Shadow," Mal assured him. "Want you to get on to Boros, see if they've got a Prefect available for when we get there."

"For what?"

Mal couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face. "She said yes, Hank. Said she'd marry me on Boros."

Hank got to his feet and hugged the other man, a manly hug that ended more or less as soon as it began. Then he held out his hand and they shook. "Congratulations!" he said. "Who else knows?"

"You're it, and I'd take it as a kindness if you didn't tell everyone yet. Want to get this job out of the way first, then we can break the good news."

"You keep going around looking like the cat that ate the entire aviary and no-one's gonna be in any doubt, Mal."

"Well, guess I'll try to be my normal obnoxious self, then."

"So how come you're telling me?"

"Because these things take time. It ain't gonna be a quick word in front of a preacher, Hank. I'm gonna do this properly. Make Frey proud of me."

"She already is."

Mal couldn't take the compliment, never had been able to. "So just wave them and see what you can find out, _dong mah_?"

"Sure thing, Captain Reynolds, sir," Hank agreed, sketching a sharp salute.

"At ease," Mal said and headed back off the bridge.

---

Freya smiled at the other woman on the Cortex. "I just had to tell someone," she was saying.

Inara was grinning herself. "Thank heavens," she said. "If you'd waited much longer I think Mal would have self combusted."

"I … I needed to be sure."

"That he really wanted to marry you?"

"Something like that."

"You two really are suited," Inara said, shaking her head. "Both as stupid and mule-headed as the other."

Freya laughed. "He'd love to hear you say that."

"So when does the happy event take place?"

"Well, near as I can figure it, in about ten days." She hugged herself. "Ten days, Inara. Then I can call myself Mrs Reynolds."

Inara nodded, ignoring the slight pain in the area of her heart. "Will you?" she asked instead. "Change your name?"

"Nordstrom isn't so dear to me as I'd want to keep it. As has been pointed out to me, it isn't even mine." She grinned. "Freya Reynolds. Has kind of a ring to it, hasn't it?"

"It sounds very fine." Inara smiled. "And I'll clear out my diary. You're not going to get married without me being there."

"I wouldn't," Freya assured her. "I want all my family around me." She giggled. "I did wonder whether to get Jayne to bring Vera, just in case Mal changed his mind."

"A shotgun wedding?" Inara laughed so hard she hiccupped in a very unlady-like way. "Oh, please, do that. I would love to see the look on Mal's face."

Freya bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying. "Do you think he'd shoot Jayne?"

"I wouldn't be at all surprised."

Freya shook her head. "No. I won't. I wouldn't want to be spending my wedding night in the infirmary."

"With Jayne?"

"No, with Mal. Because I don't think River would take it too well if Mal shot Jayne."

"What is going on with those two?" Inara asked.

"I'm not sure," Freya admitted. "But they do seem to spend an awful lot of time in each other's company lately." She shrugged. "Maybe they're just friends."

"Perhaps," Inara agreed. "They do have a lot in common."

"You mean both being psychotic?"

"There's more to it than that."

"I know." Freya paused, then leaned forward. "'Nara, part of the reason I called is … do you still have that wedding dress?"

"What?" Inara couldn't stop the surprise on her face.

"The one Mal said you got me when … before Alice …" She swallowed, her good humour of a moment ago tempered by the memory of her lost child.

"I do," Inara said softly. "Do you want to wear it?"

Freya nodded. "If you … if you don't mind."

"Freya, sweetie, it's not mine. It was always yours, and I kept it hoping you'd ask for it one day." Inara smiled gently.

"Thank you."

"It's here on my shuttle. I'm sorry you can't see it before Persephone, but –"

"I'll look forward to it," Freya said quickly. "Got so much else to do, too." She grinned. "Can't believe I'm getting married." She began to jiggle a little in her excitement.

Inara laughed. "About time, too."

---

"Mal, we're coming up on Shadow," Hank said into the com.

"Thanks," Mal said behind him.

"You keep doing that I'm gonna have a heart attack," the pilot complained. "You picking it up from River?"

Mal didn't answer, just stared out at the planet below. They were just coming up to the day side, passing out of the dark, the sun shining in through the bridge window.

"Always did love the dawn," Hank said conversationally. "Used to get up real early when I was a kid just so's I could go out and watch. Course, mostly I was thinking about getting to fly up there in it, but I still liked the colours and everything. Oh, and I got onto Boros – they're getting back to me about the dates they got available." He realised he was talking to himself. "You okay, Mal?"

"Yeah, fine."

Hank followed his gaze. "Don't look no different to lot of other planets," he went on, trying to ignore the slightly odd tone in Mal's voice. "Thought there was supposed to be a lot of damage from when the Alliance … oh." He had seen what Mal was looking at.

Below them a great continent had come into view, only it wasn't the green of the better terraformed planets, or even the yellow of places like Whitefall or Verbena. Instead it was grey, like ash, and the ocean around it was almost black.

"Don't look like there's anything alive down there at all, does it?" Hank said softly.

"Doubt there is."

The dark continent slid away, and Hank belatedly thought to bring Serenity's nose down a little. "The co-ordinates are just down in the dark side," he said, shaking himself. "Be dusk round about now."

"Thanks, Hank," Mal said, putting his hand on the pilot's shoulder and squeezing a little. "Just get us down in one piece." He strode off the bridge.

"When don't I?" Hank called, but got no answer.

---

Serenity lowered herself carefully into the dirt and powered down.

"We here?" Freya asked, stepping down into the cargo bay.

"'Ppears so, unless Hank has totally lost his senses and put us down on a different planet entirely," Mal said, attempting good humour.

"I doubt that, sir," Zoe said, doing up her jacket. "He's usually pretty reliable."

"That he is," Mal agreed, pressing the button to open the cargo bay.

Cool air filtered in as the ramp lowered, the lights inside illuminating a short distance.

"Think they're here yet, sir?"

At that a woman stepped, rather tentatively, into the light. "Hello?" she called.

"Ma'am?" Mal answered, stepping down onto the dust of Shadow.

"Mal. I don't believe it!" The woman ran to him, throwing her arms about him.

"What the …" He pushed her back a little to look into her face, then put his arms around her waist and swung her up. "Maddy!" Mal was grinning from ear to ear. "What the hell are you doing here?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Mal. I don't believe it!" The woman ran to him, throwing her arms about him.

"What the …" He pushed her back a little to look into her face, then put his arms around her waist and swung her up. "Maddy!" Mal was grinning from ear to ear. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Meeting a ship. Something called Serenity."

Freya stood back, her eyebrows raised.

Mal stopped and put her down. "That's this ship. My … Are you –"

"We're your cargo. You're taking us to Whitefall. Got a place ready there for us."

"No-one said it was people."

"Did you ask?"

"No," he admitted. He became aware of the others standing behind him. "Oh, hey, Maddy, this is my first mate, Zoe."

"Hello," Maddy smiled, and Zoe nodded.

"And that's Freya."

"Hi."

Freya stepped down the ramp. "Hi. So you're an old friend of Mal's?"

"We grew up together. My daddy worked on his momma's ranch. We were inseparable." She looked across at Mal, something more than mere affection in her gaze. "Went everywhere together."

"Well, nearly," Mal amended. "'Til I left."

"And you didn't come back." Maddy put her hands on her hips, almost accusing him of something. "How come?"

"It's … a long story." He smiled again. "And we'll have time to catch up properly." He looked across at the pile of boxes and sundries. "How many of there are you?" he asked.

"Eight. Me and my kids and another family."

"Kids? You got kids?" He looked so surprised Maddy laughed.

"Well, I couldn't wait around for you any longer." She twinkled at him. "Two. A boy and a girl."

"And your husband? Where's he?"

Her face darkened a little. "Six feet under. We buried him last spring. A sickness took him off in only a week."

"Hey, I'm sorry, Maddy." He put his hand on her shoulder.

"It's been hard. Even with the war over things got a lot worse, but the offer of work came just as we were going down for the third time." She looked into his eyes. "It's taken a long time to get close to better on Shadow, but it's not good enough."

There was blame there too, Freya realised, as if Mal was the cause of all their troubles.

"Well, better get this stuff loaded. We've got enough rooms – probably make you more comfortable than in the bay," Mal said, changing the subject quickly.

"We don't want to put you out."

"It's no trouble." He turned to Zoe. "Get Jayne down here – he can lend a hand."

"Yes sir."

"We can do it," Maddy insisted.

"Faster with more."

"Okay." Maddy nodded, then waved her hand. A group of people came out of the dusk, including some children hiding behind legs. "I'll do the introductions later."

"We'll get you stowed, then we'll eat." Mal picked up a crate and carried it on board. As he passed Freya he paused. "We got enough supplies for another eight mouths?" he murmured.

"I'll go see what else I can scrounge up." 

"Got cash on you?"

She patted her pocket and nodded, melting into the dark.

Mal continued into the bay.

"What does she do?" Maddy asked, following him with her arms full of bags.

"Who, Frey?"

"She looks … "

"Looks what?" Mal asked.

"Like she's handy with that gun."

"She is."

"Not very feminine."

Mal smiled. "Oh, don't get her wrong. If you mean weak, no she ain't. And she's saved my life more than once. But I'd rather have her at my back than a whole platoon."

"Doesn't mean she's a woman."

"Oh, yes it does."

Maddy watched as he placed the crate in the bay against the wall, biting her lip as she thought.

"This is good of you," the man of the group said. "I'm Jess Adams, by the way." He held out a hand and they shook.

"Well, we're getting paid." Mal smiled a little then headed back for another pack.

"Yes, but you could have packed us in like animals."

"People ain't animals, shouldn't be treated like it," Mal replied over his shoulder.

"He seems like a good man," Adams said to Maddy.

"He was."

"Zoe said you wanted me?" Jayne called from the walkway.

"Jayne, help us with this stuff. Want to get off this world soon as I can." He put another box against the first.

"Not going to go home?" Maddy asked, surprised.

"No home to go to. Not anymore."

"You could have claimed it back. When the Alliance started to put it back together, you could have claimed the ranch back."

Mal shook his head. "Wasn't mine anymore. No-one left to make it mine. I'm better off out here, Maddy, going where my wit and whimsy takes me. None to answer to but my crew."

"That's somewhat irresponsible."

"Irresponsible? I don't see it that way at all. I had none to be responsible to, not on Shadow." He stood with his hands on his hips. "And they're a good crew."

"Pride, Mal?"

"Acceptance, Maddy." He headed back out again.

---

Within a very short while all the gear was stowed and everyone was standing in the bay, looking around. "Zoe, take them along to the guest quarters, get them settled in."

"Yes sir."

"Then I think everyone had better assemble in the dining area, go over a few rules and introduce them to the rest of the crew." Mal watched Maddy gather up her party then stepped to one side as Hank strolled down into the bay. 

"This all ours?"

"Our guests." Mal nodded to where the last of them was disappearing towards the common area.

"Thought we were taking on cargo."

"So did I. That's why I want you to get hold of Ferrini. I'd like to have a little chat with him."

"Will do. Now?"

"Yeah, no time like the present."

---

"I don't recall suggesting it was anything other than human cargo, Mal." Ferrini was eating, and speaking with his mouth full.

"Humans ain't cargo – they're passengers. And I would have negotiated a different price."

"Maybe that's why I forgot to mention it. Look, Mal, this is all the money they got. They need to get to Whitefall, and the people they're going to work for ain't paying. This is down to them."

"So if we don't take them –"

"They don't go. And they need the work."

"You know them? Personally?"

"They're good folks, Mal. Maddy Jones's had a bad time of it lately, and a change of landscape will do her good. Her and the kids too. And Jess, well, he's none too bright, but his wife'll keep him in line."

"I ain't got no worries regarding their character. Just the way this has been done."

"It's work, Mal. You need it, they got it, so we all win. _Dong mah_?"

"Next time, Ferrini …"

"Next time you can gyp me. Sorry, got to go. My meal's getting cold." The vidscreen went blank.

"If I hadn't known that boy when he was a kid …" Mal shook his head. "You try and do a feller a favour, and this is what you get."

"You from here?" Hank asked, surprised. 

"I was."

"You don't talk about it."

"Nothing to talk about," Mal said shortly.

"Oh. Well, we're good to go."

"Just waiting on Freya, then we can get off this rock."

"No problem."

---

Freya closed the cargo bay doors, looking up as Hank called to her from the walkway. "You back?"

"Yeah. You waiting on me?"

"Didn't want to leave you behind. Mal might not take kindly to that." Hank grinned then disappeared.

Freya smiled and carried the large box up the stairs to the kitchen. Mal was holding forth, explaining about the bridge, infirmary and engine room being off limits. "It's for your own safety – there's stuff that don't take kindly to folk poking around." He felt Serenity lift from the ground. "You can visit the kitchen whenever you choose, and you'll need to get to your stuff in the cargo bay. I presume there's nothing alive in those boxes?"

Jess Adams, standing with his arm around his wife, shook his head. "We were told we couldn't bring anything live – the Alliance won't let livestock be transported between worlds without a licence."

"Well, we could have gotten around that."

"Oh. It don't matter none anyway – we sold what we had to pay for passage." He watched as Freya took the box into the kitchen area, admiring the smoothness of her figure.

His look wasn't lost on Mal, who bridled slightly but let it pass. "Then there's no problem. Oh, and since most of you weren't introduced earlier, this is Freya." The woman in question smiled slightly at the assemblage. "And that's about it. There'll be food around 18:00. Don't think we'll all fit around this table, so probably best you eat in your rooms, or the bay, but there'll be plenty."

"Sounds very fine," Maddy said. 

"Trip'll take best part of three days, so you'll get to know us pretty well by then."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" she asked.

"Not tonight," Freya said quickly. "Although I would appreciate some assistance with the cleaning afterwards."

"Of course. An extra eight people to do for makes a lot more work." Maddy smiled, all friendly.

"Thanks."

"Why don't you all go back to your rooms for the moment: get some rest. You've all probably had something of a busy day." Mal unhooked his arms. "We'll let you know when food's ready."

"Good idea. Come on, everyone." Maddy shooed them out of the kitchen and down the stairs.

"Got enough?" Mal asked Freya, stepping around the counter to stand close to her, and turned over a few of the items in the box.

"Plenty." She looked up into his face. "It's a hard world out there. Seems like the years since the war hasn't changed much."

"That's maybe why I didn't want to come back."

"Too many memories?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I think you're going to get your memory prodded somewhat. Maddy looks like she wants to relive old times."

Mal's lips twitched. "Am I going to have a problem with you two?"

"Me? No. As long as she stays in her bunk, there won't be a problem at all." She began unloading the supplies.

"Your jealousy acting up again?"

"Not jealous. Not at all." She looked up again. "Don't have anything to be jealous over. Do I?"

"Not a thing."

"Good. Now, git. I have some serious cooking to think about."

"Don't tell me – stew?"

"You don't wanna be poisoned otherwise, do you?"

He grinned. "Need some help?"

"Well, if you see Kaylee hanging around looking like she has nothing to do, you could send her in here. Or Jayne. He's good with a knife – he can chop the vegetables."

"Will do." He smiled, dropped a quick kiss onto her cheek, and left the kitchen, heading towards the bridge. As he passed the junction, he heard his name called.

"Mal."

He turned, looking to his right. "Maddy. What can I do for you?"

"I need some stuff from one of my boxes, but it's underneath. Can you help?"

"Sure. No problem."

He grinned and held out his hand, indicating she should go first. She hurried down the stairs and through the common area. "I didn't have a chance to say, but you look fine," she said over her shoulder.

"So do you. You haven't changed much."

"It's been a long while, Malcolm Reynolds. I've changed a lot!"

"I would recognise you anywhere," he said, gallantly.

"You always did know the right thing to say. I seem to recall you could get your own way in most things."

"Really."

"Yes, really." As she stepped into the cargo bay, she looked over her shoulder at him. "You never had a problem at all."

Mal raised his eyebrows but forbore to comment. "Which case do you need?"

"That one." She pointed to a chest at the bottom of the pile, and he started to move the ones on top. "I should have said when we were bringing the stuff in, but it didn't occur to me."

"No problem," he grunted as he lifted the last box.

"Does she look to you?" Maddy asked, opening the chest and taking some clothes from inside.

"Who?"

"Freya."

"If you're asking if we're together, then the answer is yes."

"I thought that might be the case. She's been giving me some odd looks. Here, hold these." She gave him an armful of linens. "So how long have you been …?"

"A while."

"You don't want to talk about it?" She closed the chest with a snap and turned to face him.

"Nothing much to tell. Frey sleeps with me. That's about it."

"Only I think there's more to it," Maddy probed. 

"Maddy, you always were inquisitive," Mal said, not wanting to go into the recent past. It hurt too much.

"You married?"

"Why?" Mal was intrigued, if slightly off-balance.

"Just wondered. She doesn't seem the sort to just be with anyone. Too self-contained."

"Freya is … complicated."

"So I would think." She took the clothes back from him. "But she's wearing a ring. Looks surprisingly like your momma's. You betrothed?"

Mal sighed. "Yes, Maddy. Freya is my fiancée."

Maddy stared at him. "But you ain't married yet."

"Not yet, no." For some reason he didn't want to explain that they'd finally set a date – that was too personal to be going into.

"Your momma wouldn't've approved."

"Yeah, well, I'm a grown man, Maddy."

"She'd still have put you across her knee if you'd been sleeping with someone like this."

"I wish we could ask her."

There was a sad pause.

"We tried, Mal," Maddy said. "Tried to get her to leave the ranch, come with us. She'd've been safer. But you know your Ma."

"Yeah. Never was one to let anyone tell her what to do."

"When the Alliance –"

"Don't want to talk about that, Maddy," Mal interrupted. "It's a long time ago."

"Yeah. A lifetime." The pause stretched out this time. "What's that on her back?" Maddy asked eventually.

"A tattoo."

"What's it of? I couldn't get more than a glimpse when she was helping us bring this stuff in."

"A sort of flame. It goes up most of her spine."

"Seems like an odd thing to have."

"Like I said, Freya is complicated."

"Was she an Independent?"

"Hmmn."

"Figures." She headed back to the common area. "Well, best get back to my kids before they start to fight and tear the place apart."

"I'd take it as a kindness if they didn't."

---

"…they're good kids, but they sometimes run me ragged." Maddy handed over a pile of plates. "You got kids?"

A shadow passed across Freya's face. "No."

Maddy didn't notice. "Well, until you do you have no idea the joy they can bring. And the worry. Why, when Jacob fell out of that tree I was beside myself. Didn't know whether to hug him because he was alive, or whup him for breaking a leg."

"Difficult." Freya slid the plates into one of the small cupboards, closing the door.

Maddy started to dry the cups, looking at Freya thoughtfully. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. I'm not guaranteeing I'll answer it."

"The tattoo on your back. What does it mean?"

"Should it mean anything?"

"Well, Mal said it's a flame, and it looks big. Why have something like that done if you don't have to?"

Freya took a deep breath. Of course Mal had been speaking to her, it was only natural. Childhood friends and all. "It's personal."

"Don't want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Not very talkative on this boat," Maddy commented.

"You're obviously not talking to the right ones," Freya said. "If you want to talk, I'd suggest Hank."

"The pilot?"

"Can't shut him up, sometimes."

"Can I see it?" She pointed. "Your tattoo."

"Why, Maddy? What's so interesting about it?"

"Just wondering whether Mal likes it. If it was painful."

"Mal likes it fine," Freya said. "And pain fades."

There seemed to be more than one meaning in her words, but Maddy didn't enquire further. "Hmmn." She watched as Freya started to stack the dishes. "You haven't asked about Mal and me."

"I don't need to know. There's been a war and, hell, a couple of lifetimes since you were friends."

"More than just friends. We were going to get married."

Freya paused only a nanosecond. Then, "Why didn't you?"

"Oh, I don't know. We didn't set a date, then the war came. He volunteered soon as he could. I got a couple of letters, then one telling me not to wait for him. He didn't come back. One of those that did told me he'd survived, been something of a hero. But he never came back to me."

"War changes people."

"Were you an Independent?"

"I was."

"Thought as much. You can tell. There's a kind of sadness in …" She shook her head and handed Freya the last of the cups. "Why'd you fight?"

"The same as everyone else. Didn't believe the Alliance had the right to tell us what to do."

"You're not from Shadow. You sound more like one of the central planets. Didn't think there were any Independents from there."

"A few. More maybe than you know." Freya looked at Maddy. "Being born on a core planet doesn't mean you automatically agree with everything the Alliance does."

"I told him not to go, you know. Mal. I told him it wasn't our fight, that we needed to get on with our lives. He didn't listen to me."

"Well, that's Mal."

"You known him a long time?"

"Seems like a lifetime."

"Is he happy?"

"He has his ship and his crew."

"And you."

Freya looked at her. "And me."

"Sorry. I didn't want to tread on your toes, or anything. It's just been a long time since I've had a man, and Mal was special to me once. But I'm not going to try and come between you. Doubt I could, from the way he looks at you."

"No problem."

"No, really. He –"

"Maddy, thanks for your help with the cleaning up. But I think you'd better get back to those kids of yours."

"Course. See you in the morning."

---

Mal turned in the act of pulling his suspenders from his shoulders and looked at Freya, sitting on the chair undoing her boots. "You don't like her, do you? Maddy, I mean."

Freya looked up at him. "Mal, she'll be on this boat three days. Do I have to?"

"It makes things easier. She _is_ my friend."

"People change. You haven't seen her in a while – a long while. And people change."

"You haven't."

"Oh, I have." She laughed. "I've changed a lot since I was young and foolish."

"So now you're old and … old ... er … older and wiser –" He stumbled, trying to save himself.

"Nice catch," Freya smiled.

"So how've you changed?" he went on quickly.

"Well, I met you."

He looked at her, his eyebrows drawing together. "Hmmn. Look, just see if you can cut Maddy a little slack, could you? She's had a tough time lately."

"Mmn." Freya went back to unbuckling her boots, glancing at the ring on her finger. "She … she said you were going to marry her."

Mal was dumbstruck, standing in the middle of the room, his shirt half open. "I didn't … we weren't … I didn't ever ask her to marry me!"

"Did you … had you …"

"Slept together? Well, yes. Off and on. But I never –"

"Were you her first?"

"Yes."

"Ah." Freya sighed. "Mal, some women fasten on that as a proposal."

"Frey, we were fourteen!"

"Oh, was she the one you made puppy-dog eyes at?"

He opened his eyes a little wider in surprise. "Do you remember everything?"

"Pretty much." She gazed at him. "So was she your …"

"First? As it happens, yes." He sat down on the edge of the bunk. "So who was yours?"

"Oh no." She shook her head.

"Come on. I want to know." He pushed himself backwards until he could lean on the bulkhead.

"It's not … let's just say, compared to you, I was a late developer."

"Before or after your tattoo?"

"After."

He grinned. "Come on. You know mine. 'Sides, don't think we should go into this marriage with any secrets, do you?"

"You really want to know?" Mal nodded, and she looked at him, considering. Then, "Okay." She took a breath, looked down at her boot then back at him. "It was a man I met in a bar. Slept with him that very night." She saw his face tighten, as if, despite his insistence, he was finding the information hard to take. She paused a moment before going on, "Then we shipped out next morning."

Realisation hit. "Did you happen to save this man's life?"

Freya raised a brow as if in thought. "You know, I believe I did."

Mal's surprise was almost palpable. "You were a virgin?"

"Like I said, I was a late developer."

"But you … your skill … what you did …" He was non-plussed.

"I was reading you, Mal. Knew what you wanted, what you needed." She smiled. "And I have a very good imagination."

"I'd say you have." He finally grinned, shaking his head. "I had no idea."

"That was the point."

"So … did you consider that a proposal?"

"If I had I think it would have worn off pretty quickly. You didn't exactly encourage me."

He shook his head again. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"Would you have made love to me any differently?"

"Maybe. I might have been less … forceful."

"Then I'm damn sure I did the right thing in not saying. I'm not a fragile creature, Mal, and I wasn't then either. Now …" She stood up, undoing the buttons on her shirt. "Why don't _we_ relive old times?" She shrugged the fabric from her shoulders, her flesh glowing warm in the soft light.

Mal stood up, feeling his body react to her nakedness, her sheer female physicality reaching out to him and making his blood pump, his own flesh engorge. He reached for her, his hands stroking her skin, running across the stone in her engagement ring. "Rather make up some new ones," he murmured.

---

"Well?" Jess Adams asked as Maddy stepped into the cargo bay.

"An interesting crew," she replied, walking towards him.

"But do you think it's doable?"

"Of course." She moved closer to him, pushing him towards the corner of the bay, behind the stack of their belongings. "I told you we could do this."

"But he's a friend. Doesn't that make a difference?"

"He used to be. But he left me. Went off to fight a war for no good reason other than he preferred it to me, and I have a few problems with that." She leaned against him, pressing her body to his. "I don't have any problems with our plan. Just makes it more … satisfying." She ran her hand up his thigh, making him groan.

"Maddy, we can't. Not here. It's too …"

"They're all asleep. No-one's going to see."

"Maddy …"

"Just stand still. I know what you want. Just don't move."

---

"Jess?" Sadie Adams sat up in bed. "Where have you been?"

"Nowhere. Not many places I can go. I was just thinking." He started to undress.

"What about?"

"Whitefall. What's waiting for us."

"Well, it's got to be better than what we left behind."

"Yeah. Guess it must."

"So what you worried about?"

"Who said I was worried?"

"Jess, I've been married to you for twelve years. I know when you're worried. Is it this ship? Has something about it got you anxious?"

"No. It's just a ship."

"But we've not been off-world before. It can make you scared. I know I'm a bit scared, worrying about all that nothing out there."

"There's nothing going to happen to us, Sadie. We'll be fine." He pulled off his pants and sat on the edge of the bed. "We get to Whitefall, we'll be made."

"Well, then, you'd better get to bed. I need my rest, even if you don't."


	3. Chapter 3

**FIRST DAY**

"I honestly don't know how he does it," Maddy sighed, watching Simon put a weave on her son's knee. "Every time I turn around, he's fallen over something, broken something, about to break something … kids are a trial, I can tell you." She stroked Jacob's shoulder. "But I still wouldn't be without them."

Simon smiled. "My own daughter's just a month old, and she's managed to get the entire crew wrapped around her little finger."

"Yeah, I seen her. Your wife's the mechanic?"

Simon, still smarting at the comments made by Shepherd Delrani all those months ago, just nodded. "There you go," he said to Jacob, patting the boy on the back. "And try not running in the cargo bay any more, otherwise the Captain will throw you in the brig."

"Yes sir," the boy agreed, jumping from the medbed and running out of the infirmary.

"He just won't slow down," Maddy said. "Everything has to be now, and he gets skittish without having something to do."

Simon smiled. "I wouldn't say that around the Captain. He'll have him cleaning out the septic vat."

"You do that sometimes?" she asked, wide-eyed and looking far younger than her years.

"When it's my turn. Which," he said, shuddering just a little,"luckily isn't that often."

"And you a medic, too." She picked up a phial, examining it idly. "You got a lot of medications on board?"

Simon took the glass tube carefully from her fingers. "Only as much as we need. Otherwise we could become a target for scavengers. There are a number out here."

"Like on Shadow. Some folks have to break the law just to survive, to put food on the table."

"It isn't something I would recommend."

Maddy laughed. "That your doctorly prescription? Keep the law at all times?"

Simon smiled. "As much as possible."

"Wish it could be the case, doctor. But the Alliance made it awful difficult back home."

"Was it that bad?" Simon put the phial back in its case and closed the lid firmly. "Did the war … I mean, I've heard stories, Shadow being a dead planet. Although that obviously isn't true," he added quickly.

"Some areas, near enough. They tried, but even their ships couldn't take out the whole place. Heard tell they were considering trying something new, some kind of planet eater, but Serenity Valley happened before they could get it out there."

"A … sorry, a planet eater?" Simon was puzzled.

"Just a rumour. Prob'ly just a story designed to scare folks, doctor."

"Simon. Just call me Simon."

"'Kay. But life ain't been good on Shadow for a while. I seen the waves about us being a black hole, nothing there but dust and decay, and although it ain't quite as bad as that, there're places I wouldn't want to go. They say you can end up diseased or worse if you're stupid enough to land there." Maddy sighed. "It was my home, doc – Simon. And I have to leave it to make a life for me and my kids."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. They're what's important now. And thanks for taking care of Jacob." She smiled and walked out of the infirmary.

"My pleasure."

---

"How old is she?" Sadie Adams asked, looking down at the baby in the crib.

"Four days over a month," Kaylee said proudly. She lifted the comforter a little higher.

"No, don't want to do that," Sadie said. "Not if it's warm enough, which it is. Babies can get heated real quick."

"Oh," Kaylee said, moving it back.

"Sorry, don't mean to put myself forward," Sadie said. "But with kids of my own, you tend to get a little … well, you wait 'til you're a bit more experienced. You'll be telling every new mother you meet what to do."

Kaylee laughed. "I haven't gotten used to having this one yet," she admitted. "And I never know what to do when she cries. I mean, Simon says I should leave her, but then I see him picking her up."

"There's no right way, Mrs Tam. If you feel you should pick her up, pick her up. You'll soon know if she's crying just to get your attention. 'Sides, you leave her and maybe there is something amiss. Like she needs changing."

Kaylee grinned, liking being called Mrs Tam, and found she didn't want to correct the other woman. "Oh, I figured that one out. And I get Simon to do that once in a while. He's kinda getting the hang of it."

"Good idea. Jess wouldn't touch his first born for three months, not until I stood over him and made him. Said it was unmanly, or some such nonsense. I told him, he wasn't gonna come anywhere near me ever again unless he learned how to change a diaper."

"Did it work?"

"Got two more after that, so I guess it did."

Kaylee laughed again, enjoying talking to someone who understood what she was going through, and glad to find Sadie to be a real friendly woman. "They're good kids," she said.

Sadie grinned. "That they are. But I told him, no more. Three's enough." She looked down at Bethany again. "You know, I've got some things of theirs, from when they weren't much bigger than this little'un. I don't know why I kept them, except for sentimental reasons, but I reckon they'd be fine for her." She looked up. "If you don't mind me givin' 'em to you."

Kaylee clapped her hands. "Oh, no, that would be … oh, so shiny!" She pointed to the small pile of clothes in the corner. "I've got some, but I know how babies grow so fast, and sometimes there ain't the money to buy … and I ain't that good with a needle, not to make such things."

Sadie put her hand on the young woman's arm. "Then I think you're just the person I should be donating them to. I'll get them out for you."

"Oh, thank you," Kaylee said sincerely.

"I'm just glad they're going to a good home."

---

That evening, after supper, Simon found Kaylee examining a heap of small garments.

"Was it Christmas and I didn't notice?" he asked, leaning in the doorway to their room.

"Ooh, look," Kaylee said, holding up a little pair of trousers. "Ain't they the cutest things you've ever seen?"

"A bit big, aren't they?" He smiled and stepped inside to join her on the bed. "Unless they're magic growing pants and they're for you?"

She hit him lightly on the arm. "Mrs Adams gave them to me. She said hers didn't need them no more, and I might like them. For when Bethany grows a bit."

Simon nodded. "That'll be quicker than you know." He picked up a tiny t-shirt with a picture of a geisha on the front. "Only don't put her in this," he added. "She'll look just like Jayne."

Kaylee gurgled with delight. "You think so? Oh, no, we have to. Just to see his face. Maybe I can knit her one of those little hats."

Simon couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face. "It would almost be worth it."

"We could take a picture!"

"And blackmail her with it when she's not doing what she's told."

She hit him a little harder. "As if we'd do that!" she admonished.

"Why not? My parents did."

"What?" She stared at him. "They didn't."

"I had the obligatory 'lying naked on the living room rug' picture, the 'wearing the first formal outfit' picture, and …" He shuddered.

"What?" she prompted. "No, tell me."

"The 'first role in a school play' picture," he admitted.

"What's wrong with that?" she asked, almost disappointed.

"It was 'Anne of Green Gables', and I was the lead."

Kaylee lay back on the bed and sobbed with laughter. "Oh, Simon, no!" she managed to say.

"It's true! I looked hideous, in a long blond wig, black stockings … and every time anyone came to the house, they'd drag the album out to bore everyone rigid. And embarrass me."

"I wish I'd seen it," Kaylee said, sitting upright and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I am really glad you didn't," Simon said, shaking his head. "You'd never have gone to bed with me if you had."

---

Mal was taking his last turn around his ship, just making sure they weren't leaking air or some such, when he came upon River sitting on the catwalk over the cargo bay, swinging her legs from the edge.

"Ain't you supposed to be in bed, little albatross?" he asked, leaning on the railing above her.

"Not tired," she said, looking down.

"I guess that means we have to find you something to do during the day." He smiled.

"I look after Bethany while Kaylee looks after Serenity," River pointed out, not looking up at him, just studying her toes as they moved in and out of her sight. "She's forgiven me."

"Nothing to forgive," Mal said shortly.

"Then I haven't forgiven myself."

Mal looked down into the bay at the stacks of boxes. "Funny how small a space a life can be packed into," he said conversationally.

"You can't change the subject," River admonished.

"Last time I looked, I was captain, so I can change the subject much as I want."

"And I need to apologise and say Simon is wrong."

Mal looked down at the young girl in surprise. "What about?"

"I am sorry about … Freya and children."

"You been listening in on other people's conversations again?"

"No," she assured him. "I'm trying not to. But I heard Simon talking to Kaylee."

Mal shook his head. "That young man sometimes has a difficulty with confidentiality."

"Where Kaylee is concerned, there is none."

"That's what I mean."

"It's my fault. If Freya can't –"

Mal squatted down onto his heels. "No, River, it ain't. And I won't have you thinking that way. I don't believe he's right, either, and I'm aiming to prove it." His lips twitched. "As often as possible." He tapped her on the shoulder. "And you keep it to yourself, even if he can't."

River flashed him a wide smile and patted the metal next to her. "Sit with me?"

Mal glanced towards the bunks. "Well, Freya's waiting for me –"

"She's waited for you a long time. A few minutes won't make it any longer."

With a sigh Mal lowered himself onto the catwalk, his legs feeling unnatural with nothing beneath them. "Few minutes, then," he agreed.

"You used to sit like this with Inara," River said, putting her hand in his and mixing their fingers.

"Suppose I did," Mal agreed, a little ill at ease at the closeness of the young psychic.

She laughed, reading his feelings as if they were written on glass. "You're hers, and that will never change," she said, squeezing his hand. "And I wouldn't want you." She shook her head. "Too old."

"What?" he said indignantly. "Jayne's older'n me and you seem pretty enamoured on him."

"Old in spirit, not age," she corrected softly.

"If you mean that Jayne acts like a kid who's had his toy taken from him sometimes, well, maybe I'd agree with you."

"And you're going to be an old married man before the month is out."

He glared at her. "You go blabbing that around the rest of the crew and you'll be walking to Whitefall."

She smiled. "Freya's already told Inara."

"She's …" Mal sighed. "So I guess we're even."

"Hank won't tell. He doesn't want to have to get out and walk either."

Mal chuckled. "Not much point trying to keep a secret on this boat, is there?"

"Not really." She grinned, so much like the girl and not the psychic. Then she said, "She's unhappy."

"Who? Frey?" Mal was surprised.

"No. Inara. She didn't show it, but she had always had a spark of hope."

"That's where you're wrong, girl." Mal turned enough to look her straight in the face. "She knew before I did what was gonna happen. Kept me on the straight path more'n once. So no talk of her being unhappy, _dong mah_?"

"She can't help it. She doesn't want to feel that way, and hides it when she does, but to see you and Freya … she's lonely."

"Lonely?" Now Mal was astonished. "She's got the pick of the high and mighty of this 'verse, and she's lonely?"

"It's just sex, captain. Not love." She shook her head at him. "That's what you never accepted."

"Well, maybe I didn't, and there might've been more reason to that. But right now I got a fiancée up in my bunk waiting for me, and she ain't never hardly …" He stopped. "Look, little River, whatever might have been, ain't. Freya and me, we're gonna be married in less than two weeks. And I'm gonna do my gorram best to make her happy."

River grinned and let go of his hand, springing from the catwalk to land on the deck below. "And you will!" she called, dancing on her heels then running towards her room.

Mal watched her, shaking his head, and got rather stiffly to his feet. Either it was age or he'd wrenched his back somehow, but sometimes he got an inflexibility, just there … Still, Freya'd know just the thing to do with that.

Maddy waited until he'd gone before stepping out from behind the crates, a hard look on her face. So he was getting married. Well, wasn't that dandy. First he ups and leaves her, and now he's hitching to some other _pofu_. Typical. Just like a man. She ran a hand over two of the boxes before heading thoughtfully for her bed.

---

**SECOND DAY**

Hank was sitting on the bridge, contemplating the stars, counting as many as he could and wondering whether it was time for lunch yet. His stomach said it was, but the shipboard clock said there was half an hour yet.

"It's pretty," came a voice from the doorway and he turned in the chair.

"Hi," he said, smiling at Maddy Jones.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure. Take a seat." He pointed to the co-pilot's chair.

"Only Mal said we weren't allowed on the bridge."

"He probably meant the kids." Hank grinned. "You ain't planning on trying to take over the ship, are you?"

"Not right now, no."

"Then pull up a pew."

She sat down and looked out of the windows. "Hard to believe there's nothing out there," she said, slightly awed.

"Never been off world before?" Hank asked.

"No. First time."

"I guess I forget sometimes what it was like, my first sight of it. Kinda makes the heart beat a little faster, don't it?"

She nodded. "That it does."

"Course, it's not really empty. There's all sorts of junk out there, dust, meteorites and the like. You just don't usually see it."

"It looks empty."

"Occasionally one of the stars'll flicker, and you know you're looking at it through a dust cloud, but mostly, yeah, it looks like there's nothing for millions of miles."

"Have you been on board long?" she asked, turning to look at him.

His green eyes flashed at her. "Longer'n it feels, I think. Over a year, and then some."

"And did you know Mal before that?"

"Nope, never did." He stroked the console absently. "Didn't meet him until I came to ask if he needed a pilot."

"And he took you on."

"After a day or two, yeah. Always thought he was checking out my references, but seems like he never did. I guess he just took me on trust."

"He always did trust people."

"Really?" Hank shook his head. "Never seemed to me to be his way, but then you've known him a lot longer'n me."

"I don't think I know him at all," she admitted. She picked up one of the dinosaurs. "These yours?"

"No. Not really." Hank smiled. "They kinda came with the job."

"Mal's?" Her face, the lights from the console reflected in her eyes, was surprised.

Hank laughed. "No. They belonged to his previous pilot, but he died, and Mal kept 'em as a sorta reminder."

"Memento Mori," Maddy murmured.

"What?"

"A remembrance of the dead," she explained.

"I guess." 

She put the dinosaur back under its plastic palm tree. "So we'll be at Whitefall tomorrow."

"Yep." He glanced at her. "Sorry to be getting off?"

"Not sorry, no." She shrugged. "Ain't gonna be no different than where we came from. Still working for other folks, still doing what we're told." She looked around at Serenity's bridge. "Only difference is I'd like to be under the sky again. This ship's too small."

"You think?" Hank was surprised. "Never found it that way myself. And I speak as someone who finds small, enclosed spaces something of a problem."

"Then it must be me." She smiled at him, and stood up. "Better get back. In case Mal finds me up here and starts shouting."

"Wouldn't want that," Hank agreed. "He kinds goes purple and … well, it's pretty disgusting."

Maddy laughed. "I'll try not to find out." She smiled at him and walked off the bridge.

Hank turned back to his stars. She seemed like a real nice lady – and if what River had been saying was true, she could have been mistress of this ship if things had gone differently. Shit, which reminded him. He leaned forward quickly and started inputting the Cortex code for Boros.

---

"Mal, do you have a minute?" Maddy asked, stepping down into the dining area.

"Sure." Mal smiled up at her from the coffee he had in his hand, and the maps he was checking. "Just making sure Hank ain't got us pointed the wrong way," he explained.

"I doubt that," Maddy laughed, sitting down next to him.

"So, what's up?"

"I wanted to apologise."

He raised his eyebrows. "What for?"

"What I said. About Freya."

He shrugged. "Ain't nothing to apologise for, Maddy. Frey and I … we're good. Very good."

"I can see that. And that's why I was a bit … tetchy, I guess. I'm kinda jealous."

"Jealous?"

"I ain't had a man for a while, Mal. Not since my husband, God rest his soul, passed on. And it makes a woman anxious."

Mal felt his lips twitch. "I doubt it does much for the man, either."

Maddy hit him on the arm. "You know what I mean!" she scolded.

"Guess I do." He grinned. "And there's still no need to apologise." They looked at each other for a while, then Mal said, a little unsettled, "So, how long were you married?"

"Ten years. Sam was a good man when we got hitched, but maybe the years of being married to me didn't do as well for him as he'd hoped, and he …" She stopped sadly.

Mal wondered at the unspoken words. "You okay, Maddy?"

A quick smile flashed across her face. "He got sick and died. That's basically it. And there weren't a thing anyone could do about it, even if we'd had a proper doctor like you got."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, it ain't like I can go back and change it. And we're off on a new adventure." She leaned forward. "I'm kinda scared, you know?"

He put his hand on hers. "I know. But I'm sure everything's gonna be shiny."

"Well," she sighed, "can't be as crap as back home."

"Is it really that bad?"

"It ain't good. Mal, maybe you were right in not coming back, but we need men like you to make it better. Men who can get things done, even fight the Alliance for what's rightfully ours."

Mal shook his head. "Tried that, Maddy. For six years, and still lost."

"Why did you?" she asked suddenly, leaning forward to look into his face. "Why'd you go off and fight?"

"Because it was the right thing to do." He sighed himself. "I tried to explain when I left."

"And I didn't understand. Still don't."

"You can't change people, Maddy. Not unless they want to, and that's what the Alliance never figured out. They wanted us all to be like them, living in their little bubbles. Well, we ain't like that. Never will be."

"Do you know how many people came back from that war, Mal? Out of all those thousands who left Shadow to fight to preserve that independence?" She glared at him. "A handful. And you weren't one of 'em."

"Nothing left for me there."

"I was!"

He shook his head slightly and stood up, putting the mug back on the counter before turning to find her close against him, pressing him back. Her hand was on his thigh, stroking up towards his crotch.

"Maddy, stop," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her gently away.

"Mal …" She pushed harder, and her lips met his. For a moment he seemed about to respond, but his grip tightened and he drove her back.

"No." His blue eyes gazed, somewhat sympathetically, into hers. "You don't want me, Maddy. And you ain't what I want either."

"Freya," she said bitterly, looking down at her boots.

"Freya." He lifted her chin. "If she hadn't … if we weren't …" He stopped then tried again. "Maybe we could have made a go of it, Maddy, if I'd come back. But I didn't. My home had gone, my life on Shadow was just that, a shadow of the past. And I came out here, to the black, and this is my home now. And Freya's in my bed." He smiled a little. "You got your kids to look to."

"Not sure that's enough any more."

Mal breathed deeply. "Well, that's more your concern than mine. We're putting down on Whitefall tomorrow, and your new life will be starting. No profit in trying to rekindle an old one."

She glared at him then her look softened. "I reckon you might be right. Sorry, Mal. I just thought …"

"Puppy-dog eyes?"

She laughed. "Something like that. They worked on me, figured I'd try it back."

"Go on, get back to your family. And who knows, there might be someone even more special'n me waiting for you on Whitefall."

"Yeah. Maybe." She stood upright, smoothing her dress. "Guess I'd better go see what they're doing. Just as likely to be fighting again."

Mal smiled. "Yeah, kids take a lot of looking after."

"That they do." She nodded rather sadly and walked out of the galley.

He felt sorry for her, he really did. Watching her leave, he almost wished he could have kissed her the way he did once, feeling her melt under his hands, become pliant to his wishes. But that was the past. And his future was waiting for him in their bunk. He grinned.

---

"Can't sleep?" Jayne said, putting the bar back on its stand. He sat up and looked across towards the doorway to the common area. Jess Adams stood there, watching him.

"Nope. Guess I'm kinda wound up about tomorrow. You know, new start 'n' all."

"Wanna do a set? I'll spotcha."

Jess grinned. "Don't mind if I do. Used to be keen on keeping fit, 'fore I married Sadie. Running round after her and the kids tends to make sure I don't get too fat now."

Jayne nodded. "How much?"

"Don't rightly know. Used to be around fifty, but it's been a while."

"Try twenty-five, and see how ya go." Jayne stood up, adjusting the weights.

"You work out a lot on your own?" Jess asked, watching him.

"Freya sometimes works with me. Just to be sociable," Jayne said, shrugging. "Only she's been out of it for a few weeks, since …"

"Since what?" The other man approached, wiping his hands on his pants.

"She got hurt."

"Guess it's some kind of occupational hazard, your line of work."

Jayne nodded. "Usually one or other of us in that infirmary, getting stitched up. Gotta good medic, so it ain't too much of a hardship." He nodded towards the bench. "There ya go."

"Thanks." Jess laid down and adjusted his position, setting his hands on the grip. "So what happened?"

"Nothing much," Jayne said, standing behind. "Just got a little banged up."

"Don't want to talk about it?" Jess asked, lifting the bar from the stand and feeling the unaccustomed pressure in his muscles.

"Not really. Don't talk much anyway when I'm exercising."

"That's fine." He lowered the bar to his chest then raised it, inhaling on the way down, exhaling on the way back up. This was harder than he remembered.

"Good," Jayne said approvingly. "Now just do another nineteen and we'll put some more on."

River sat on the catwalk and watched. She liked to see men working out, quite liked the smell. The pheromones were almost attractive. And Jayne had impressive muscles. Now, if she could only get him to exercise his brain as well …

"Who is that?" Jess asked, getting to fifteen and thinking he was about to die. He glanced at the girl staring at them.

Jayne looked up. "Oh, that's just the doc's moonbrain sister. She's harmless. Mostly."

"Does she work out with you?"

"Nope. Well, coupla occasions, but she mostly just watches."

"Are you and her …"

"No!" Jayne grabbed the bar and lifted it back into the cradle.

"I've got three more to go," Jess complained.

"'N' you look like you're gonna stroke out." Jayne shook his head. "Think it's been longer'n a while."

"Maybe." Jess sat up, shaking his arms. "So you and the girl are just friends?"

Jayne didn't look up at the catwalk. She was still there. She was always there. "Just friends."

"She's very pretty."

"She's okay."

"Only no-one's introduced us."

Jayne leaned down. "You don't wanna get to know her. She'll tear you to pieces if you try anything. And I'll do the same to anything that's left."

Jess held up his hands. "I'm a married man!" he insisted.

"So? I seen the way you look at Freya, and so's the Cap. You just stick to your side of the fence, _dong mah_?"

"I wasn't going to try anything. Got a wife and kids."

"When's that ever stopped no-one?" Jayne picked up his towel, wiping his hands and arms. "I'm gonna get some sleep. I suggest you do the same." He headed off up the stairs towards his quarters, not looking at the young girl still sitting on the edge, swinging her legs.

Jess watched him go, then smiled tentatively at the girl. She gave no indication she had even seen, but there was a crawling on the back of his neck that made him wince, and he hurried towards his temporary quarters.

River lifted herself to her feet, her head on one side. She didn't like this man. Something about him … but she wasn't going to look. He'd be gone in a day, and then Serenity would be back to normal, with some celebrating to do. And Jayne had his own code, as twisted as it might be. Married women were not his style, so he figured married men should be similarly subdued. Maybe it was just that. This man had looked at her in a way she didn't like, and perhaps that was all it was. She reached out to touch his mind, then pulled back. No. She'd told the captain she wasn't looking, and she was trying to keep to that. No peeking, no matter how loud.

Her bare feet curling around the metal of the gangway, she sidled towards the bridge, where the stars would soothe her enough to be able to sleep.

---

**ARRIVAL**

Whitefall hadn't changed. It was still a dirty yellow colour with wispy clouds floating high in the stratosphere, mostly covered in scrub and mountains. Pretty it wasn't.

"Mal, you sure about those co-ordinates?" Hank asked, checking out the readings as he manhandled Serenity through the upper atmo. "Only there ain't anything there that I can see."

"They're definitely the ones Maddy gave me. Unless she's been given the wrong ones." He stared out past the flames. "You sure there's nothing?"

"Could be a homestead too small to be picked up at this range, but I doubt it." Hank had tweaked the sensors a lot since coming on board, making them even more sensitive after their encounter with a raiding ship a few months ago.

"I'll go and have a word."

Maddy was in the cargo bay, lifting some of the crates down.

"You sure about those co-ordinates?" Mal called from behind her.

Maddy started. "You scared me," she accused, flushing.

"Sorry. Guess you didn't hear me coming over the noise of us breaking atmo." He smiled at her. "Did you need a hand with something?" He pointed at the boxes.

"Just getting ready to be picked up."

"Well, that's the point. There's nothing there."

"What do you mean?"

"No town, no ranch. Nothing."

"I didn't expect there to be."

"What?"

"It was just a meeting place. They're coming to pick us up." Maddy smiled and put her hand on his arm. "No need for you to fret. The house, well, it's a ways from anywhere, and they don't like strangers, so we're being met. That's all."

"Maddy, I don't like the sound of this. You think we're just gonna drop you and leave you in the middle of nowhere?"

"Of course not!" She laughed. "You're going to wait with us and make sure we're safe." She squeezed. "That's what Malcolm Reynolds does, isn't it?"

"Damn right," he agreed. "Still, I'm not keen on the ass-backwards way this is being done, Maddy."

"Mal, it was this way or no way. We'll be fine," she assured him.

It had been more than an hour, the sun was well and truly up, and there was still no sign of anyone.

"Jayne, take a look around. Frey, go with him," Mal ordered.

"Are you worried?" she asked.

"Concerned," he corrected. "Just have an itch I can't quite scratch yet, and it's making me all kinds of nervous."

"So not worried."

"No."

She smiled at him and walked out of the bay with Jayne.

Zoe turned to look at her captain. "Sir, I'm not happy about waiting here. We're not too far from Patience's compound – if she gets word we're here –"

"The thought has crossed my mind." Mal stared out at the dry countryside. "But we'll give it a while longer." He exhaled heavily. "I'm going to the bridge, see if Hank's had any luck picking anything up."

Zoe watched him head up the stairs, then looked outside again. Feeling a prickling at the base of her skull, she followed, heading for her bunk to get her carbine.

Maddy stepped out from behind the stack of crated belongings and began lifting them down.

"They gone?" Jess Adams asked from the doorway.

"Yeah. Get it ready."


	4. Chapter 4

Freya squatted down and picked up a handful of dirt, letting it run through her fingers.

"You feeling antsy?" Jayne asked, shouldering Vera.

"Something's not right." She scanned the horizon. "There's no sign of any habitation. And we're a hell of a long way from a town."

"I know what you mean. Seems to me Mal's been taking what those folks have been saying a mite too easy."

"It's Maddy," Freya agreed. "He won't believe she isn't everything she seems. What he remembers."

"I'm thinking he's beginning to regret that about now." He sniffed. "I'm gonna take a bigger walk around. You comin'?"

Freya nodded and stood up. 

---

"Mal, did you say they could use the mule?" Hank asked, looking out of the bridge window.

Mal joined him. Outside, just in view, Jess Adams was sitting on Serenity's old mule. Even at this distance they could see he was fidgeting. He was looking around anxiously.

"No. Maybe they're considering borrowing it for all their gear. They sure had enough."

"Without asking?"

"I'll see." He headed off the bridge and down the main stairs. He could see Maddy in the cargo bay, moving boxes. "You planning on stealing my mule, Maddy?" he asked.

Maddy gave a start and almost dropped the box she had in her hands. "What?"

"Jess Adams. He's outside, waiting. Looks suspiciously as if he's on my old mule, which I see isn't where I left it." He nodded to the corner where the old vehicle still lived. "It may not be much, but there's sentimental value in that thing."

"We were just going to borrow it." The trembling in her voice gave her away.

"Borrow." Mal took a deep breath and looked down. When he raised his eyes again there was honest bafflement in them. "What's going on, Maddy?"

"Nothing? Why should there be anything going on?"

"Here we are on Whitefall, at the coordinates you gave us, and there's nothing here. No ranches, no towns. Just a whole load of nothing. And you're about to run out on everyone with Jess Adams."

"Mal, that's ridiculous."

"Can't help how it looks, Maddy." He stepped closer. "What's in the box?"

"Nothing. Just a few bits and pieces."

"Bits and pieces," Mal repeated. "Then you won't mind if I take a peek through them."

Maddy backed away a pace. "There's nothing of interest to you. Just some old heirlooms that I couldn't bear to be parted with."

"Why have you got them out now?" Mal asked. "When you ain't there yet."

Maddy tried to think fast. "Because … because you're right. Me and Jess … we're running away together. And I don't intend to leave these fairings of mine."

"But leaving your kids is all right? Nope. I don't think that's it at all. Show me what's in the box."

"No."

"Maddy, show me." He moved quickly forward and grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me."

Mal's voice became hard, brooking no objection. "Show me."

"And I said let go!" She struggled to free herself, and in doing so the top of the box came free, clattering to the cargo bay floor. In an instant Mal had pulled the crate from her, setting it down to look inside.

"_Shun sheng duh gao-wahn_," he breathed. "Is this what I think it is?"

"It ain't yours, Mal. Give it back." Maddy tried to reach around him, but he stood up and turned on her.

"I don't believe you!" Mal said, outraged. "You brought _drugs_ on board my ship?"

Maddy looked at him, something very like disdain in her eyes. "What are you getting on your high horse over, Mal? You can't tell me all your work is legal – you wouldn't be able to keep flying if it was."

"I don't deal in drugs! Not that kind!"

"There's another sort?"

Mal didn't want to get into the tale of how they cleaned out an Alliance hospital on Ariel, so merely said, "Yeah, the immoral kind. These are _drops_."

"You can say that?" Maddy scoffed. "You're shacked up with a woman without benefit of matrimony. That's immoral. What would your momma have said about that?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Maddy," Mal informed her, trying to hold his anger in check.

"Oh, please."

Mal grabbed a handful of vials from the open box. "These kill people, Maddy!"

"And you never have, have you, Mal?" The disdain, the hatred, was back. "Oh no, the honourable soldier never killed anyone."

"I've killed, I admit that. But I've never murdered. And that's what this is, Maddy. Cold blooded murder." Mal threw the handful against the wall where the glass shattered into fragments, falling to the deck amid a small rain of liquid.

"That's wasteful," Maddy stated.

"The rest's going the same way," Mal said.

"No, no, Mal, you can't do that!" Maddy was suddenly afraid. "We've got to make the delivery. We've had half the money – we don't make good, they track us down, kill us."

"Then give them the money back."

"That don't help none! If'n they don't get the goods, we're done for!"

Mal shook his head. "What the hell happened to you, Maddy?" he asked. "The woman I knew would never do a thing like this."

"Two kids _happened_, Mal. A husband who drank himself to death _happened_. And someone left me to fight a war that destroyed half my home _happened_, Mal."

"I never said we'd be together."

"No. You just slept with me and expected me to be grateful." The hatred returned full force. "Well, gratitude don't cut it anymore. It won't feed hungry kids."

"We were fourteen, Maddy." Mal's voice dropped. "We were kids ourselves."

"And that's supposed to make everything all right?" Maddy threw her hands up in disgust. "You always did put honour above everything."

Mal stared at her, wondering just what had gone wrong in her life in those intervening years to make this acceptable. "Other folks lived through the war," he said. "Lost loved ones, homes. They didn't start dealing drugs."

"I ain't dealing! Just transporting. You know what that is, don't you? I dare say you do it all the time." Her eyes swept around Serenity's interior. "All those little hidey-holes crammed full of pretties. You're just a smuggler too. Gun for hire."

"Maybe I am, but I don't deal in that crap." He took a deep breath, trying to calm the rage flooding through him. "And the job here on Whitefall? Does it even exist?"

"Oh, it's real. But if you think I'm going to end up cleaning and cooking for someone else, you can think again." She glared at him. "I ain't doing that for no-one ever again."

"Then we're at something of an impasse," Mal said, not unkindly.

"Seems like we are." Maddy softened her gaze a little. "Look, Mal, just unload us. Let me take the boxes, and we'll be out of your hair before you know it. Then you can be on your merry as if we never existed."

"Can't do that, Maddy. What if it's kids get hold of those drops? Kids like yours? Or like the little girl we got on board? Strung out, dying? No. We dump 'em."

"You can't!" Maddy was shocked.

"Yes I can." He turned to the case. "Best thing for all –"

Maddy, her anger making her strong, picked up the metal cooking pot and swung it at him. It hit him square on the back of the skull, and he dropped to the floor like a stone. She didn't stop to check he was still alive, just grabbed the boxes and hurried out of the cargo bay doors. Outside Jess Adams was waiting on the old mule.

"You get them?" he asked as she put the crates onto the back.

"Of course." She slid in behind him, her arms around his waist. "Let's go. Time to get wealthy."

A few minutes later Zoe, heading down from the bunks, saw Mal lying face down on the bay floor. "Captain!" She ran down the stairs.

Alerted by her shout, Simon looked out of the infirmary. "Mal."

They both reached the prone man at the same time, Simon checking immediately for a pulse. "He's alive," he said, and was rewarded by a groan from Mal. They gently turned him over, and his eyes flickered open.

"_Wuh de tyen, ah,"_ he muttered, putting his hand to his head. "What the hell happened about me?" he asked, trying to focus.

"You don't remember?" Simon asked.

Mal started to shake his head then stopped, sitting up. "Maddy! Damn fool woman must have hit me!"

"There's blood on this pot," Zoe observed. "Surprised she didn't crack your skull open, sir."

"Don't think she didn't try," Mal said darkly. He quickly glanced at the stack of crates. "She took them," he muttered, getting to his feet, staggering slightly.

Simon took his arm. "Mal, take it easy. That blow –"

"She's taken two boxes, doc. They were full of drops."

"Drugs?" Zoe asked quickly as Simon's jaw dropped.

"Are you sure?" the young doctor asked in turn.

"I broke some over there." Mal stepped across to the bulkhead and leaned down to pick up some of the broken glass vials, but as he did so the room swam and he had to hold onto the wall for support.

"Mal …" Simon said, putting his arm around the Captain's shoulders.

"Down there, doc."

Simon nodded and went down onto his haunches to check the broken glass. Dipping his finger carefully into the spilled liquid he brought it to his tongue, tasting delicately. The bitter taste made him react, but it wasn't the flavour that made him spit, saying, "Son of a bitch. Di-hydro methaline." He looked up into Mal's face. "Worst kind."

"Maddy, sir?" Zoe said. "You said she took them?"

Mal nodded. "She brought them on board my ship, and now she's going to deliver them."

"We can't let her, Mal," Simon said, standing up. "These are –"

"I know, doc." Mal glanced up at the mule hanging in its chains above them. "Get Jayne and Freya back here. And get the mule prepped. They took the old vehicle, but we can catch them easily enough. We're gonna stop Maddy making the mistake of her life."

---

"They can't have got far, sir," Zoe said, releasing the clamps to start lowering the hover mule.

"Far enough to get themselves killed."

"What's going on?" Sadie Adams asked from the doorway to the common area. "Where's Jess?"

Mal glanced at his first mate then went towards the other woman. "Ms Adams, I'd take it as a kindness if you'd go keep an eye on the kids. Keep them outta mischief."

Understanding dawned in her eyes. "It's Maddy, isn't it? Jess has done something real stupid." She shook her head bitterly. "That _pee goo_ of a man … he never could resist a pretty face." She looked into Mal's eyes. "They run off together?"

"Looks like, and we're going after them." The hover touched the deck behind him. "Bringing them both back."

"Don't bother," Sadie said, turning away. "She can keep him."

"Well, that's something you'll have to work out between yourselves," Mal said to her departing back.

Jayne and Freya jogged back up the ramp. "What's up?" the big man asked. "Hank said you needed us right fast."

"Get on the mule," Mal ordered. "I'll explain as we go."

---

The tracks led into the hills, disappearing over rocks and stony ground, then reappearing a distance later on the dirt. Mal was getting increasingly concerned at the time this was taking.

"Shoulda brought Serenity," he muttered.

"And landed her where?" Freya asked quietly, indicating the narrow valley they were travelling along, between steep sided hills.

"Well, it would have been quicker to walk."

"Mal." Jayne pointed ahead.

"I see 'em."

Ahead, with the distance closing rapidly, was the old vehicle. Maddy and Jess were looking behind them, trying to get more speed, but the hover mule overtook them quickly, settling down in front. Jess pulled up, and Maddy was out of her seat almost before they'd stopped moving, her face red with anger, her fists clenched.

"Mal, leave us be! You ain't a part of this!" she shouted as Serenity's captain jumped to the ground.

"You think I'm gonna let you run off and get yourself killed?"

"No-one's gonna die," Maddy scoffed.

"Except the kids that stuff gets fed to."

"It ain't none of your concern." She was intensely angry.

"Maddy, think what you're doing!"

"I am, Mal! I'm taking the opportunity to get out! Just like you did!"

"What?" He put his hands on his hips and stared at her.

"You left! That was your opportunity, this is mine!"

"You think the war was an opportunity?" Mal shook his head in disbelief. "Do you know how many men died, Maddy?"

"I don't care!"

"Maddy …" Jess said, looking around. "We don't have time for this."

"We got all the time we need," Jayne put in. "'Cause you ain't goin' anywhere." He started to climb down from the mule but a gunshot spliced the air, and Jess Adams clutched his shoulder, crying out. He sat back heavily onto the dirt.

More bullets followed, but the others were already moving. Mal had taken Maddy to the ground, pushing her under the mule for safety. Jayne was by now in the bushes, working his way towards the gunmen, Freya doing the same the other side, while Zoe was firing back, her carbine filling the valley with noise.

Simon grabbed his medbag and scuttled towards Jess.

"Get back, doctor!" Zoe called.

"He's hurt!"

"And you'll be dead."

Simon ignored her enough to grab Jess by the uninjured arm and drag him, yelling, towards the relative safety of the hover mule.

Mal was still lying on the ground, counting. He made it seven out there. Six, now, as a cry of pain rose and died to his left. He glanced at Maddy, hugging the earth, her face petrified, and shook his head. What was it with people? he asked himself as he scrabbled to his feet, keeping low as bullets ricocheted around him. Always out for the easy money. Though there was nothing wrong with that, he reminded himself. Yeah, but there were other ways. Not drops. Not death in a vial. A figure rose up in front of him and he fired, his bullet taking the man in the centre of his chest, exploding his heart, and he fell like a stone. And now there was more killing. And he didn't want any of his getting dead. After all, there was easy money and easy money. And this wasn't even easy.

A bullet grazed his thigh and he bit back on the yell that tried to erupt. Ignoring the burning, he rolled forward, firing as he went. The shooter threw up his hands and fell backwards.

Around him he could hear more gunfire, but that was diminishing. And suddenly it was quiet. Getting slowly to his feet, feeling the graze pulling, he looked about. "We all still alive?" he called, ready to duck if it was the other side who answered.

"Still alive, sir," Zoe said, coming into view, holstering her carbine.

"Ain't dead yet, Mal," Jayne added, kicking a body from the top of the rise so it rolled down.

"Me neither," Freya said, stepping into the clearing. She saw the blood on Mal's pants. "You okay?" she asked.

"Just a scratch. You?" He could see she was bending forward slightly.

"Shiny." She smiled, rubbing at the scar on her belly.

"Doc'll take a look," Mal said, hiding his concern. "Soon as we get back."

She nodded.

Mal turned away, but Zoe's voice stopped him.

"Captain?" she called, turning one of the bad guys over.

"Yeah?"

"Recognise him?"

Mal looked down. The face was dirty, dusty from where he'd rolled down the hill after Jayne kicked him, but familiar. "_Jen dao mei_," he murmured. "One of Patience's boys."

"Think she's in on this?"

"I really don't want to consider that, Zoe. And although I doubt it – she ain't ever dealt in drugs that I'm aware – I don't exactly want to hang around and discuss it with her if she is." He strode back to the mules, reaching down and dragging Maddy out from underneath. "Happy now?" he demanded, looking down into her scared face.

"Mal –" She reached for him but he dropped his arm.

"Jayne, finish it," he ordered.

The big mercenary lifted one of the crates and emptied the contents onto the ground, stamping onto the glass vials with evident enjoyment. He did the same with the second, screwing the soles of his boots into them until there was nothing left but glass dust and dampness. "Gorram drops," he muttered. "Ain't no excuse for 'em."

"I'd have thought you wouldn't want to see potential money wasted like that," Simon said softly, slapping a field dressing on Jess Adams' shoulder.

"Ya think I'm that much of a bastard?" Jayne asked in return.

"I thought you did anything for money."

"Well, ya thought wrong." He destroyed the last of the ampoules and stood straight. "We heading back?"

Mal nodded. "Yeah. Get these two back to Serenity. Freya and me'll bring back the old mule, make sure we ain't followed."

"On it, Mal."

"And cut me some of that brush before you go."

Jayne grinned and jogged off to the bushes, drawing his knife from its sheath.

"There's no money on them, sir," Zoe said, standing from where she'd been searching the bodies.

"Figured there wouldn't be." Mal looked at Maddy. "They weren't planning on paying you the rest – just kill you and leave you here for the buzzards to feed on."

There was a trace of belligerence back in her face as she began, "Mal –" but he turned away from her.

"Better get going," he said to Jayne as he dropped a couple of hefty branches at his feet.

"Aw, Mal, I ain't too sure about this. What if Patience is part of this and she comes after you? I figure I should stay too. Zoe and the doc can handle this pair – they ain't gonna be left here on their lonesome without the goods."

Mal flashed a smile. "Might be good. Okay. Get those branches strapped to the back of the mule – I don't want to be leaving any noticeable tracks."

Zoe climbed onto the hover mule. "If you need us, call, sir," she said starting the engine.

"Hopefully we won't, but I'd be obliged if you'd keep an ear out."

"We'll be listening, sir."

He half smiled as the hover moved off. "Long as you do. Got a wedding to get to yet."

---

The mule trundled slowly across the valley floor, Freya driving, as the sun rose higher. As they reached the end, Mal swore under his breath. "_Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng_."

Five horsed riders were sitting in their way, and Freya had to pull the old vehicle over.

"Mal Reynolds?" said the old lady perched up on one of the horses. "That you?"

"Morning, Patience," Mal said, managing a slight smile. "How've you been?"

"Oh, keeping fine." She settled herself more comfortably in the saddle. "Been a long damn while since I seen you."

"Circumstances, Patience." Mal looked at the men with her. "This feels kinda familiar."

"Really?" She glanced around. "You mean when you shot my men and left me for dead?"

"Didn't shoot you. And you were trying to rob me," Mal pointed out. "Oh, and kill me too."

"That's air through the engine," Patience said, waving it away with her hand. "So what're you and that sorry-assed crew of yours doing here?"

"Do I need permission?" he asked in turn, feeling Jayne next to him begin to tense.

"Depends on what you're doing here."

Mal grinned suddenly. "Just taking in the sights."

"Not much to see around here."

"Oh, you'd be surprised. And Frey here ain't never been to Whitefall." He clapped the woman in front of him on the shoulder.

"Zoe finally realised you're not worth keeping alive?"

"She's around."

"But you got a new piece of fluff to keep you going?"

Mal grinned. "Something like that."

"You shoulda let me know you were coming," Patience said. "I'd'a laid on a party for y'all."

"Like the last one?" Jayne ground out.

"That was business," Mal said, glancing at him. "Ain't that so, Patience?"

"That it was." The old lady nodded grudgingly. 

"And I bet you got a good price for those protein bars."

"Did okay. Would have been better if you hadn't'a ambushed us."

"Well, kinda thought you'd done that to me, so I figure we're even."

Patience contemplated him thoughtfully. "Reckon we are," she said finally. "Still doesn't explain what you're doing out here."

She was interrupted by a comlink buzzing, and a low conversation behind her. One of her men urged his horse next to hers and whispered in her ear.

"Mal," Jayne breathed, easing his hand towards his gunbelt.

"Yeah."

Patience looked back at them. "Just got word one of my boys is dead, along with some others. Back there a ways." She nodded back the way they'd come. "Don't suppose you know anything about this, do you, Mal?"

There was a silence only broken by the sound of safeties being clicked off.

"Any idea what he was doing out here?" Mal asked finally, his hand close to his gun but not drawing.

"Nope," Patience admitted. "I was kinda hoping to ask him that myself. Though I guess I might need a preacher to do that now."

"Did they find anything else?"

She glanced at the man with the comlink and he muttered into it. A second later there was a muted response. Under her wide hat Patience looked surprised.

"He was dealing drops, Patience," Mal went on. "Now I know you don't hold with drugs, unless it's alcohol or some such, so I figure he was doing this behind your back."

"And what's your involvement?" the woman asked, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"Innocent bystander."

Patience roared with laughter. "Innocent? Mal, you ain't been that since the day you came crying."

Mal sighed. "They were being transported on my ship. Unbeknownst to me," he added quickly.

"Yeah. Don't see you holding with that either." Patience regarded him with a cool eye. "Mighta had to shoot the boy myself."

"Then we saved you the cost of a bullet."

"Reckon you did."

They stared at each other a while longer. "So, if you don't mind, I got business elsewhere," Mal said eventually.

"And you think I should just let you walk?"

Still engaged in the staring contest, Mal shrugged. "If you wanna shoot me, go ahead. Only I got nothing worth stealing, and truth is, I got a wedding to get to, so I'd be obliged if you'd just let me get to it."

Patience pricked up her ears. "A wedding? Whose?"

"Mine."

Jayne shot him an astonished glare as Patience and her men laughed.

"What _boo hway-hun duh puo-foo_ would agree to marry you?" the old woman asked, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Me," Freya said, not taking her gaze off the people in front.

"And I thought you looked kinda sensible." Patience shook her head. "Always thought you were wed to that heap of _gos se_ you call a boat, Mal."

"Shotgun wedding," Mal said.

"Well, ain't that sweet. Still …" She stopped and suddenly tension was back. "I figure you still owe me."

"You got your goods, I got paid," Mal said quietly. "Why start making such a fussing now?"

"You damaged my reputation. I don't take kindly to folks what do that."

"I would have thought you'd take less kindly to being dead," Freya put in.

"Are you threatening me, girl?" Patience asked, really looking at her for the first time, noting the gun, the set to her shoulders, the calmness in her face.

Freya looked up at the skyline above them, to where Zoe was standing, her carbine aimed at the old woman. Then she turned to her left, nodding to where Hank had a rifle doing pretty much the same thing. And to the right, where River, her pretty dress floating out in the breeze, stood barefoot, a gun in each hand. "Not threatening. Just telling it like it is."

Mal smiled. "Patience, we don't want no bloodshed here. There's been enough of that today." He carefully, and very obviously, moved his hand away from his gun. "Let's just call it even and all go on our merry."

Patience looked from one to the other, feeling the prickling of gunsights on her scrawny chest. Then she laughed. "Mal, if you were a religious man I'd say you had the luck of the devil."

"Nope," Mal disagreed. "Just good people with me."

"Better marry this one 'fore she gets away."

"I intend to."

Patience sat back in her saddle. "Evens it is." She looked at her men and nodded. There was the much more reassuring sound of safeties being clicked back on. "And you're right – I don't own with drops. Lots of other ways to kill yourself if you really want. Like coming back here without an invitation."

"Just gonna drop off my legitimate cargo and be gone," Mal assured her.

"And next time, I get a discount."

Mal smiled. "Sure."

Patience turned her horse. "Oh, and congratulations," she threw over her shoulder. "You ain't gonna be a widow 'fore you get hitched. This time." She rode out, her men following.

Zoe slid down the scree slope.

"Jayne, make sure she don't double back," Mal ordered, and the big man jumped from the mule, loping off. "And what were you all doing here?" he asked his first mate.

"Just thought you might need a little back-up, sir," she said. "In case you ran into anybody determined to take your head clean off your shoulders."

Mal nodded. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Can't have the groom dead before his wedding day."

"How did you –"

"Hank."

Mal considered being angry, but decided it wasn't worth it. "Does everyone know?"

"I think Jayne may still –"

"Um, no, he knows now."

"Then pretty much." She smiled. "You can't keep secrets on Serenity, sir."

"Seems like," he agreed.

Jayne jogged back. "They've gone, Mal."

"Then so should we." He waved up at River and Hank, and they dropped back out of sight. "I think I'd like to get going before Patience changes her mind." He reached back and released the ties holding the branches to the back of the mule, and Freya fired it up.

---

"You gonna hand us over to the Alliance?" Maddy asked, standing in the common area.

Simon was dressing the wound in Jess's shoulder, Sadie standing to one side, glaring at him.

"You really don't know me, do you?" Mal shook his head sadly. "I ain't handing you over to no-one. But I ended men for you, Maddy, and I ain't gonna forgive that. We'll take you and your families to the town, like we planned, then what you do is up to you. I ain't responsible for you no more."

"I wasn't going to leave my kids, you know. We were coming back for them."

Mal looked down at her. "I'm not sure I care."

She put her hand on his arm. "We were so close once …"

He pulled away. "Stop playing me, Maddy. It ain't gonna work." He glanced into the infirmary. "That what you did with him? Made out you were so in love with him that he'd agree to anything?"

"He wasn't so innocent," she said firmly. "He made a play for me, long time ago."

"While your husband was still alive?"

"I needed some kindness." She shrugged.

Mal almost smiled. "You know, you remind me of someone I met once. Twice, actually. She played me first time. I didn't let her do it the second."

"Your fiancée?"

"No. Someone else entirely."

They stared at each other.

"I won't stay here," she said finally. "On Whitefall."

"Up to you."

"You could take us to Persephone." She tried once more, moving close to him, letting him feel her warmth against his thigh.

"No, Maddy, I can't. I contracted to bring you and yours to Whitefall, which I've done. Job's finished. You're getting off." He stepped away from her and went into the infirmary, leaving her glaring.

"He's going to be fine, Mal," Simon said, glancing up.

"Is he?" Mal asked Sadie.

She looked at him, then back at her husband. "That depends. I can't believe he'd do something like this … I mean, drops … of all the …" She shook her head. "You'd think, with kids, he'd …"

"Men do stupid things sometimes," Mal said.

"Are you trying to make excuses for him?"

"No. I wouldn't do that, Ms Adams. Like you said, these were drops."

"But you think I should take him back?"

Mal smiled a little. "I think you should dump him out the airlock."

"Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. But I won't. Not yet. We've got history, three kids … and …" Her face fell. "I don't know."

"Ms Adams, if you want me to take you on to Persephone, I will. With your children."

"And Jess?"

"No. Not him nor Maddy."

"I don't blame you. But I'll stay here. What else do I have to do?"

Mal put his hand on her arm and squeezed gently. "You're a good woman."

"No. Just resigned."

---

Mal watched as Whitefall fell away beneath them, glad to see the back of it again. And at least this time he only had another graze, not a full blown bullet wound.

Sadie Adams had stayed behind with her husband, and as the ramp had lifted and the cargo bay doors closed, Mal had watched as Maddy glared at him.

"Is that what marriage is, Hank?" he asked quietly.

"What, people doing stupid things and getting forgiven for 'em?" He laughed. "Pretty much. And you've had practice with that already, so don't go thinking it'll be anything different to what you've already done."

"Is this mutiny?"

"Nope. Just honesty." The flames outside died and they were in the black. "And if you're thinking that Freya would ever do anything like that to you, don't."

"I'm not," Mal assured him, speaking from his heart. "She's been through so much, and she's …" He smiled. "She's Freya."

"I know what you mean. And I know Risa would never …" He paused, staring out into the stars. "I have to say, I think Maddy was in the minority. Most women ain't like that." He shook himself. "And speaking of which, I got the dates from Boros, and the other information you wanted, so …"

Mal grinned. "Time to organise this wedding."


End file.
